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Allen, author from “Getting things done” ( see earlier post) mentions in his book that things clutter your mind, your “RAM” so to speak. E.g. if you start thinking about things and the thoughts clutter your mind, you cannot focus on the task you are aiming to do.
Therefore, he suggests to get it out off your head. I said that a few years ago (when I was in primary school): every night when I could not sleep and all sort of thoughts kept me awake, I got a pen and paper and placed it next to my bed. I wrote on it all kind of things that went through my head. If I woke up at 4 am and had a thought, that is where it went. I decluttered my brain, my RAM.
And, it helps to do that in your daily work life. You write your ACTIONS down, not your thoughts. Your actions have to form some kind of to-do list that you then can transform into “products” or “results”. Or, have 2 lists, one for Actions and one for random thoughts - depends on the industry.
I keep you posted.
Have a lovely day, sunny here in London.
Volker
I notice that more and more people contact me about what I write here. So I would encourage you all to leave a comment too and of course, please link to my site.
Getting Things done is the title of a new book I started reading this week.
getting things done
I have read many management books and many time management books. cb consulting offers time management seminars also. So there are really two reasons for me reading this book.
a) David Allen suggests that the old time management techniques like A/B/C prioritising and planning methods are a little out of date. Therefore for me offering trainings I like to offer the most valid way of an effective time management training.
b) as part of my “new life” I need to find a way to deal with hundreds of emails, unexpected work loads, processing information and Getting Things Done! So ultimately it offers me hands-on support in my daily job. Whilst job is defined as any kind of work you carry out, e.g. DIY, gardening etc. (definition by Allen).
I try to keep you up to speed whilst I read this book. Most interesting in the beginning is the theory of the pebble you throw into a pond. It will form some ripples but then it eases out and the pond is still again. That is how you should be able to deal with your work load in order to not stress.
I keep you posted.
Volker
Hello All,
Facebook - after publishing my new status “starting a new life, everyday now” I got a few requests about what I am up to?
No, I am not getting a divorce or change my job. Everything is fine and I am more than happy with both! However….there is always a BUT.
Really, the last 4 weeks with us moving into the new place, the job being more than busy and me having little time to un-wind, lead me to have a good think over the weekend. Never have I been so worn out, tired and exhausted for such a long time.
So, I will change my life, a bit everyday. Planning in some “me time”, “exercise”, “knowledge”, “fun”, “friends”, “family” etc. - just to consciously making life more live-able. Making sure I enjoy what I am doing and have the work life balance or life-life balance.
No rocket science really but I think that I haven’t really had time lately to focus on the nice things in life. And if I had the time I did not use it. So all I do is a re-cap and a more conscious living.
Thanks, Volker
Wow, I went to the gym this morning. Maybe not the best idea after a Saturday night out, but I found a new toy:
This machine works you like a stepper, cross trainer and climber at the same time. I could only spent 10 minutes on it, it was too exhaustive. Wow, I need to go back asap.
Have a good Sunday, I will be in agony.
Yours
Volker
Congratulations to Boris Johnson who won the mayoral elections in London. Needless to say that I support him.
Sorry, Ken, you have done a great job but 8 years are enough and it is time for a change.
Not sure but my Turkish friend said that Boris’ grandparents are from Turkey. It shows once again how multicultural London is.
Boris, lots of luck. I liked your winner’s speech! Let’s get things moving in London and get the city where it belongs - to one of the top cities to live in.
I have not always supported London that much but I spoke to a South-African yesterday and she said that you get this dip in London when you do not like the city. Usually happens after a year and a half. That seems to be the breaking point. From there you either leave it or love it. Clearly I love it.
Roll on 2012 and let us show the world what a great host we can be for the Olympic Games.
Free Tibet, too.
“Sure I am this day we are masters of our fate, that the task which has been set before us is not above our strength; that its pangs and toils are not beyond our endurance. As long as we have faith in our own cause and an unconquerable will to win, victory will not be denied us.”
I read that in a book this morning, Winston Churchill wrote it during WW2 - not sure if as a German it might be inappropriate to use it for motivation, but I really like it.
what does make us happy - i was wondering tonight when i got an email from a dear friend, that no matter how stressed we seem, how wonderful work can be, how awful life could be…if you are touched by a friend, his/her story, his/her love - that really takes the pressure off and you feel happy.
if you have a good friend, a boy/girl friend, a partner/wife/husband, children, pets and they “touch” you, e.g they hug you or send you their love, that is what makes you happy. they send you positive energy.
real love, the purpose of life, not money or material goods make us happy!
It is the inner peace and the strengths that comes from within that makes you happy and perform. The love that radiates from your heart or your friends’ hearts into yours. That is what makes you happy and in return ready to perform the tasks you need to do.
Thank you for touching me tonight.
your friend!
Looking further into my essay I saw Tolle’s book “The Power of Now” which does cover the topic of focusing on the now, the actual day, “carpe diem” so to speak, instead of focusing on either past or future.
Many many people seem to use the past as an excuse for what is happening in the now and excusing themselves about things that might happen in the future.
Without going into much detail it seems that we can only enlighten ourselves if we do focus on what is happening just precise this moment. This very second or Milli-second. Why bother about what has happened. Too many theories in my opinion focus on the idea of the past influencing our lives - time line therapy to cure what has happened? I used to live in the past quite a lot myself and found my personal way of living in the now.
However, looking at myself, I live in the future too. Aspirations, goals, wants and needs. Salary expectations, new job and family - often I think “what if I reached my dream income of lets say 100K?” - to be honest, if I ever achieve it, then I would want 200K and so forth. Death is definite, it puts an end to it all, doesn’t it? Maybe it doesn’t but then we move away from the now. We talk about that another time.
But yes, if we stop worrying about what might be and what we achieve and what might happen, we might start living in the now and focus on what is important at the moment. Because only that counts and really works in favour or disadvantage of the future. But please do not forget to think about the future, set goals etc. - but do not be too fixed with it and do not let them influence your now.
And, if you have issues from your past that influence your now, then let it go, use therapy and live your life - I had almost written “as if it would be your last day”. Not sure, maybe we should but do not exaggerate. There might be a tomorrow ,-)
Good night.
I just finished reading Mike Farrell’s Book “Just call me Mike” - I am amazed and thought before I drop Mike an email and tell him how much I like his book and his attitude it might be good to write a few lines here. He might read it (if you do, please leave a comment).
To be honest, the reason I bought this book was because Mike played BJ in M*A*S*H, a TV series I absolutely love. What I did not know is that he is a human rights activist, passionate ambassador for a better life on this planet and a dedicated husband and father. He wrote endless journals and publishes them on his website.
I had to stop me from crying while reading his book full of passion and love for others more than once. He amazes me and shows me how little I have done so far to improve the life of others, how selfish I have been compared to him.
He did not stop me from being inspired, amazed and motivated to start helping others who are less fortunate than me. Creating a positive impact on this planet, for others. Thank you.
Mike, you are great!
Geshe Michael Roach describes an interesting situation in his business problem no. 43 which I like to write about:
You live in a business and social climate where integrity is simply not respected; where only fools are strictly ethical every hour of their business day - where “Nice guys finish last”.
He writes about people leaving a company. As usual the manager asks if there is anything they can do to help. And usually there is not. The manager gets back in touch with the ex-employee after 3 weeks and the person is usually happy.
Then Geshe Michael Roach writes “the imprints for having bad people around you, you see, aren’t changed by manipulating external circumstances. The Tibetans say that, when most of us go into a room with ten people in it, we find three people we like pretty much, three people that we pretty much don’t like, and four people that we don’t feel much about either way. Then if we go into another room of then people it’s just the same. …..It is not a function of external reality…it is a question of imprints in our own minds. Change your own imprints in our own minds. The change will not come with you running away but by you changing your imprints.”
That reminds me about my most common NLP motivation technique - moving away from is not working, it is the moving “towards to” motivation that gets you where you want to be. If the imprints in this case, your mental stimuli is right, you will work towards something that is worthwhile, that makes you happy. If that is work or any other circumstance.
However, if you keep leaving companies or avoiding situations because of things that seem to be everywhere you are, then you cannot escape them until you have dealt with it in your own mind, because the perception/imprint comes from you. Ergo, you will always end up in the chosen situation until you see it differently.
At the end of the book Roach also talks about “seeing it from other point of views” and “being united with another person’s being”; whilst he then expands on happiness and wealth I was thinking of self-monitoring too.
Because if you monitor yourself and think “what would I like to hear from that person if I was the person asking me something?” - then I would always have a good answer and might be able to motivate people. And, most importantly, I would get a good imprint for myself and even for the other person. Using that in business I create a win/win situation, because a new employee for example would be more motivated, gets a positive imprint, is happier and creates more business.
Let us find out whether those principles work in business.
I went jogging this morning. As I have done for the past few weeks. It was the bank holiday weekend in August when I said to Jen that I want to lose weight. I said by the time we get married (2 weeks from today) I weigh not more than 100 kilograms (kg).
Hurray, I achieved that about 2 weeks ago and I am almost at 98, counting for a loss of about 10 kg! No, you do not lose your belly but you lose weight. The belly stays once you passed 30. So, how did I do it?
What I did not do was having some miracle cure or remedy that just makes my weight disappear. I read a book to motivate me about “how to beat cancer by eating healthy”. That gave me motivation to:
- cut down on alcohol
- cut down on (red) meat
- cut down on animal fat
- eat more healthy stuff, e.g. vegetables
- think about what you eat, eat less processed food
I did not read this book because I have cancer but because I am interested in changing my lifestyle so that this never becomes a topic to think about. Fingers crossed.
After all, I gave up smoking 9 years ago. Smoked off and on since but in general, I did quit from 60 a day and never went back to a proper smoking routine of more than 10 months and more than maximum of about a pack a day. Haven’t smoked for the last 3 years really but the odd cigar and pipe - which is not a problem if you do know it is the odd one. Self-control it is.
When I gave up smoking Alan Carr’s book clearly helped by saying “do not focus on the cigarettes you give up but on the fresh air, healthy life etc. you gain”. Old NLP technique I mentioned before. Motivate yourself towards a goal and not away from it.
So, coming back to my weight loss, I focused away from weight, away from being fat. But what I really focus on is my healthier lifestyle:
- slimmer figure
- more toned body
- healthier look
- healthy food
- healthy digestion (you wouldn’t believe it … I spare the details)
- more energy
- better feeling towards yourself
As you can see I focused on the good things in life. The slimmer figure I got. I lost about 2 kilos just by not drinking wine every night. To be honest, I cut down on alcohol to an absolute minimum. Didn’t stop me to have a great night with great wine but I reduced the amount significantly. The odd glass does not do any harm - red wine is even healthy in moderation. Then, just by cutting out animal fat - the odd burger after a night out or a kebab - that is where the fat is! And, the less you drink, the less you are tempted to have this hangover cure.
Also, I started jogging again. 10 minutes to begin with. Then half an hour, an hour by now. Weight just comes off if you exercise. If I did not feel well, I would go for a long walk. Walked down the River Thames last week and 3 days of exhibition, makes it probably about 10 kilometers a day. It all counts. The stairs in the office, the walk at lunch time. Give those elevators a miss.
Got myself a bench to do some bench press and free weights for my biceps. No, I do not look or want to look like Arnold but I really like being a little more toned. A little bit muscular, makes you feel stronger and burns off a lot of calories. Do not forget, just a few repetitions work wonder. 5 minutes in the morning and 10 at night. That is all it takes.
The healthy look comes automatically. Your skin clears up. And then, the healthy food! Never thought that some veggies could be so tasty. Unfortunately I have an intolerance against “Quorn” so stick to Tofu, but there are loads of alternative options out there. Some rice or pasta with broccoli and Indian spices do it for me. Saves me money too. Overall, perfect way to save money and eat healthy. And it is no effort at all.
If you do all that on a regular base over a few weeks, a month or two, you do notice that you gain more energy. You sleep better and get more done. You think clearer too. You sometimes do not stop thinking and go wild. You need to run because you feel the “ants in your pants”. A positive vicious circle.
I mean, let me not forget. If you drink a lot, have a nice meal every other night then you get tired, lazy and get into the vicious circle the other way around. Change today and you will see how much you can gain. Quit the glass of wine at night that you think gives you relief, step up the game and go for a 15 minute run. Notice the difference within a week!
So what do I do when I do not feel like doing anything? It is cheesy but I watch Rocky. Either the first movie or when he fights the Russian. I love the scenes when he trains in the snow in Russia. No technology, just him and nature. Often, I just watch it on fast forward. But it is great to see that someone with no help and financial support can achieve so much just by wanting it. You can too!
It comes back to my grandma - if you set your mind to it you can do it. I have the stamina and motivational power to do it. I can do it. I want to move towards to……
Try it for yourself!
….my grandma, who I dearly loved, always said that if you work hard and dedicate yourself to what you are doing then you will get rewarded for it.
I talked to a close friend last night and she is working hard, works with dedication and passion, “just” doing a very good job. And, it does pay off, it is recognized. That makes me proud!
However, unfortunately those situations are not always true because often people work their butts off and do not get any reward.
So, grandma, maybe we have to say that if you really work hard and dedicate yourself to what you are doing then you will get rewarded for it IF you have a manager who realizes it.
It comes down to good managers and good leaders. With high empathy, EQ and relationship to their staff.
Have a great weekend.
I noticed another article in my magazine, going back to NLP “acting as if” - reminds me of the Secret, acting as if you are already have something, and seek for something and really want something, putting a picture in your mind.
The article talks about people that wanted a promotion at work and started to “act if” they already got it. Changed their lifestyle, hairstyle, daily style and within weeks either got a promotion or what they wanted - down to synchronicity.
That reminds me of really wishing for something and it comes through. But also, I think that, like my NLP trainer used to say, if you for instance start thinking of something to buy in your head, you already “bought it”, even if not physically.
Where we going from there? Take little steps towards your goal. If you like to be the CEO of a company, learn how to run it and make your knowledge available to people. Show people what you can do and how you can lead them and get yourself the first position in management. From there learn about strategies and give strategic advise…and one day, you will be there. Taking small steps at a time and you will get where you want.
The 7 habits of highly effective people do the same. They talk about “starting with the end in mind”. Imagine you are already a CEO, how did you get there? And, using stepping stones that you can write down on a time line, check against your performance to see your progress.
Be who you want to be - act as if!
Hello,
My partner Jen said to me the other day that, during a girl’s night out, her and some friends discussed whether one does ever know when the right time is to get married and when to have kids.
She came home and shared the thoughts and I, whilst jogging last night, realized, what most of you probably already realized, that in terms of change management, humans change as well.
Not a great revelation I suppose. But here we are. 6 months ago I liked my bottle of wine, my nice diner and could not be more comforted by having food and nice drink. Now, shortly before the wedding, I drink about a glass a week, run about 20 K (in total) a week, do weight training and cannot tell you what a difference vegetarian food makes to my diet. Wow - that is a lot of changes.
One never knows what comes next. Another trigger in life lets me set sail to India or Tibet to get enlightened and my partner might want to move to New Zealand for good. Would one make those decisions together, can one make those decisions together? Will one ever know the other person? When is the right time?
The right time is always in the now. The Power Of Now - by Eckhard Tolle, describes it nicely. There is never a good time but the actual now. Because we do not live in the past or future. All decisions, all feelings are at this very moment. NLP taught me that if you start thinking of e.g. buying a new car and really get yourself hyped up for it, feel it and imagine driving it, then you have already bought it. All you have to do now is the action and physically buy it.
So, is there something like THE right moment. Yes, there is. It is now. But this now changes, in “human terms” every second I suppose - if we want to put a measuring on it.
We all have the right to change and the will and motivation to change. We need to constantly develop ourselves, have different wants and needs. Out of that we create our now which nobody would ever be able to predict.
However, with a little of common sense and stability I guess we are reasonable in what we are doing and caring and loving towards our partner.
I would like to dedicate this entry to Jen, as without her, I could not reflect my thoughts as well. Her love shows me every day, that the now is what I want. And, if I could, would like to have the NOW forever.
Just tonight, having the man flu again, I am looking at the concept of the CIRCLE OF EXCELLENCE which is an anchoring exercise.
I remember doing this exercise years ago. One goes through a situation where one e.g. excelled in something and at the moment one feels the peak of the action, then one steps into an imaginary circle on the ground. This circle now represents the feeling, not the actual situations, a state of being rather than a state of doing.
If one now goes backwards one will experience how one got to that state of excellence. For instance the state of excellence is finishing a marathon. The way leading up to it would be hard training, different milestones. If one now moves forward, is the feeling of achieving it still the same? Or does one demand more, or could one have done less to achieve the same?
The motivation to achieve something PLUS the attainment, e.g. the achieving itself gets us in the state of excellence. Any gap to what we like, want or need to achieve leads to irritation.
This irritation, being out of balance, will activate something and will lead to a motivation to get what one wants. If the irritation is to run marathon, one will activate the training to get motivated to train for the achievement of the marathon to end of with a state of excellence.
However, if we now think about this circle of excellence, what can we use it for? A good example is given on this website. Get into this circle and feel how you achieved something. Step out and add more thing you could have done (or remove) and try to step into that circle again. It might just create that motivation to do more to feel even better.
I guess it is not easy to explain but try it out for yourself. An easy, self-anchoring tool. Enjoy.
I want to quote a bit out of the book by Connor “Managing the Speed of Change”.
“A prerequisite for committing to change is the recognition that the cost of the status quo is significantly higher than the cost of change. Suppose a man is offered ten dollars to walk ten feed along a two-by-four plank that is two feet off the ground. He would probably say, “No problem.” In this case, his commitment to perform the task is easy to attain.
What if the height of the board were raised to twenty feet? Now , then dollars may be too little incentive for him to risk a broken limb. If the ante is raised to several hundred dollars, it might then be worth it. But unless he really needs the money, he’s probably not going to be committed enough to undertake the venture.
What if the height were three hundred feet, across an alley between two buildings? Most people wouldn’t try that for even a million dollars. But place a young child on the ledge of the far building, and nearly every parent would be committed to crossing the dangerous height on a narrow board.
In this instance, the price of staying put and possibly watching your baby plummet from the top of the building is much higher than the cost of falling off the board yourself. In fact, most people wouldn’t take a million dollars to sit tight and not try to save their child.”
I am not too sure if this paragraph is only showing the commitment to change and really stick to it, or if it shows motivational patterns and how incentive increases/decreases motivation. Connor probably wants to make the point, as he explains further, that it is easy for people to acknowledge that a change is to be made and to get started on it. But keeping their motivation up when the going gets tough, that seems to be the problem. That is when the role model (sponsor, agent, target) have to be highly involved.
From my point of view it does not make a difference whether it is change in a company or personal change - e.g. lets say you like to lose weight or want to give up smoking. All you need to do is taking the first step. But if you do not see a reason to keep your motivation going, it is far too easy to go back to your old habit. If you want to beat any habit, you have to get the commitment to change it. Then you have to stick to it and remind yourself of the goal and why you are doing it. Always thinking of something positive, moving towards something nice (a cleaner lung, fresher breath, leaner muscles) and not moving away from things, focusing on the bad things (away from cancer, away from heart disease, away from obesity).
Your motivation has to be positive and you have to find a good reason for that it is worthwhile you keeping up your motivation and would be willing to cross from one skyscraper to the other on a two-by-four. A good coach always helps ,-)
I set myself to lose quite a few kilos until our wedding. My stepping stone today was buying a weight bench. Now I need to keep the motivation up to use it, because I want to lose the weight, I want to move towards a nicer, healthier, leaner body.
Have a great Sunday!
What is fasting? Wikipedia and an alternative medicine site explains it in very good detail, also with all the religious background.
More interesting is the question I was asked at work “why do you fast”?
Sure, first of all it is time to lose some weight. But the likelihood of putting on more afterwards is there and therefore my main motivation is not to shed some pounds. Would be nice though.
I do not go months without food or drink but go for a 3 day fast. First day only water, 2nd day only fruit juices and water, 3rd day only vegetable juices and water. A friend recommended that to me.
“In natural medicine, fasting is seen as a way of cleansing the body of toxins, dead or diseased tissues, and giving the gastro-intestinal system a rest. Such fasts are either water-only, or consist of fruit and vegetable juices.”, Wikipedia
Hopefully that sums it up better than I could. It gives you rest, it takes up energy, it cleans your body and get rid of all the “crap” in your body.
You can achieve a detox also by changing your diet which I did already and will continue to do. However, fasting is also for the mind. It is about finding peace, de-clutter your life, rest and think about what you like to do and what you like to change. Reflection is a big part of fasting. And, if you did not have enough willpower then you couldn’t do it in the first place.
I am very proud of my partner who is fasting for the first time. She was very tempted to give up but together we manage. It is only 3 days and then we slowly get back to normal, a break-fast meal and possibly one glass of nice wine. And back to our healthy diet because otherwise it would not make sense to do it in the first place if you decided to eat “Schnitzel” and “Sausage” once you finished the fasting.
Have a peaceful and reflective bank holiday weekend!
fasting buddha
I did not notice that Dan Millman wrote more than this book. I finished it and would like to add some more comments but also I ordered his other 2nd book; Millman wrote a book which takes out bits and pieces of his book and then discusses them. Would he write a blog for me?
Guess not, as he has his own blog. Visit his website: http://www.danmillman.com/ - a lot of questions are answered there. And, looking at his page, that is something where I would love to end up in years. Inspiring people, giving advise, writing books and make a living from it. My respect, Mr. Millman!
Lets get back to the book:
Once you make your choice, do it with all your spirit. Don’t be like the evangelist who thought about praying while making love to his wife, and thought about making love to his wife while praying.
I love this rather common phrase, because deep down it shows commitment. You either do it or you do not. You do not take on a job you cannot do or would not try everything possible to finish it, would you? Do not do anything lighthearted, rather not do it at all!
Then Millman talks about Happiness and Money. Which I like because I would love to have millions of GBP in my bank account however happiness is more important. The difference between being wealthy and being rich.
Happiness = Satisfaction / Desire
“If you have enough money to satisfy your desires, Dan, you are rich. But there are two ways to be rich: You can earn, inherit, borrow, beg, or steal enough money to meet expensive desires; or you can cultivate a simple lifestyle of few desires; that way you always have more than enough money.”
Whatever you desire in life, if you keep it small (denominator in the above equation) then the happiness gets greater by same satisfaction - that reminds me of my maths class at university. Or, you have lots of money and can satisfy a lot. But the problem will be you have more money (increase in satisfaction), your desire grows and then happiness does not grow. So if you have a lot of money try to keep your desires small.
I reckon Dan is right to keep your desires simple and modest and you are easier pleased ergo your happiness is higher. It makes sense - the less things to worry about, the less things to aim or strive for, the less to worry, the more to live for!
While it is difficult to just pick out some of Dan’s quotes there is another thought I enjoyed.
“You do have a terminal illness: it is called birth.”
So often you hear people that have cancer for instance and say “I make every day as nice as possible and live it as if it was my last. I have nothing to lose.” - We all are in that situation. We only have around 75 years on average on this planet. Let us all make the most of it, the most of NOW. The power of NOW. Why wait to make decisions and wait to be something we can be today. Start changing your life today, there might not be a tomorrow!
Dan describes very vividly at the end of the book how death appears and what happens to your body. It is eaten away and becomes dust. End of story.
Not quite because that is “just” your body. You live in it, you nourish it and vice versa but at the end of the day it is your thought and your soul that makes YOU. Luckily I have never experienced it but if someone has an accident that results in a body damage. Sure, life will never be the same, but the person stays the same. The body changes but the mind does not. One stays oneself; if you lose an arm through an accident you still are the same person.
I leave you with those thoughts for the weekend. It is important to understand that the conscious and the mind explains what you feel, how you feel, what you like and wish for. But the body has little or no influence. One could go as far to say that the body is just a protection around our thoughts and keeps them protected.
We decide with our mind, willpower and motivation what we like to do.
I tell you about fasting tomorrow.
Whilst reading the above book, after recovering from a flu-like cold, I came across a nice story which I like to reproduce here. I am sure Dan Millmann would not mind me copying this passage and publish it here:
An old man and his son worked on a small farm, with only one horse to pull the plow. One day, the horse ran away.
“How terrible,” sympathized the neighbours. “What bad luck.”
“Who knows whether it is bad luck or good luck,” the farmer replied.
A week later, the horse returned from the mountains leading five wild mares into the barn.
“What wonderful luck!” said the neighbours.
“Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?” answered the old man.
The next day, the son, trying to tame one of the horses, fell and broke his leg.
“How terrible. What bad luck!”
“Good luck? Bad luck?”
The army came to all the farms to take the young men for war. The farmer’s son was of no use to them, so he was spared.
“Good? Bad?”
This story fascinates me as it shows in a simple way that there are always two sides to look at. A situation has its positive sides and negative sides. A car accident can lead to you missing a plane that could have crashed if you were on board. Things in life happen that might prevent us to get into worse situations although they look like being bad situations themselves. There is always something that could be worse and something that could be better.
Everything has a purpose - is said in the book. And it is up to us to make the best out of it. Sometimes the worst situations bring out the best in people. It is not by accident that people who are pushed to their boundaries usually perform the best.
Whatever you do in life there are different views to it. A bad situation could prevent something worse. A good situation easily turn into a bad one. And a bad situation can turn into something good. Never forget, it also depends on your map, your territory, of what you make of things.
Have a good night.
It is not always easy to find a new topic. I got the man flu - a rather bad cold - which tied me down all weekend. Am not feeling the greatest I have to say. But, I feel obliged to write a few lines. But what about?
Maybe about the latest book I am reading, “the peaceful warrior“, or the the book that changes lives. It feels to me as if I had heard that story before and maybe I have seen the movie years ago. A friend recently recommended me the book and what it says in the beginning I found quite interesting: “one has one or more teachers in life outside school/university“.
And yes, that is quite interesting for me to look back. Teachers or mentors. People who give you guidance. There are of course my parents, my brother if I allowed him to because he was older, my grandparents on both sides, my friends’ parents surely, my teachers in school and university, my friends to a certain extend, my “big-brother”, the porter in halls of residence, my wife, my managers, my work colleagues…..- I guess I could extend this list indefinitely. Where do one start to call someone a teacher and at what point does this person become a mentor?
I suppose for me I surely learn a lot from anyone. The person selling me my train ticket, the car salesman, the “Big Issue” seller in London, the police at the accident scene, my friends. But, for someone to become a mentor, a guardian, that is different. A guardian angel of course is something I believe in, imaginary, non touchable.
But a real life guardian (angel), mentor or coach - latter - is the one that makes the difference to my life. He gives me guidance without teaching, without being patronizing. Someone who lets me do mistakes and directs me rather than tells me what to do. That is where good leadership differentiates from bad leadership - where dictatorship differs from democracy with a leader - if that makes sense. The idea that someone is a mentor means for me that this person has a big influence on one’s life. In small steps or big leaps.
I for instance have a few mentors that show up in my life every now and then and give me “food for thought” on how to continue the journey. Because they are stepping into my life now and then they evaluate the situation thoroughly, invest time to question and find good guidance.
Whilst the mentors who are there permanently do not take the time to catch up but give you direct advice rather than letting you come up with your own thoughts and ideas - your own direction in life.
I guess it comes down to being a teacher versus a coach. A good coach in my opinion is not necessarily a good teacher, is more of a “non-teacher” - but usually s/he is a good manager and leader. Whilst a good teacher can be a better by being a good coach and teacher, combining the best of two worlds for the job of a teacher.
For tonight that is a nice ending. If you find a good coach, it takes you from A to B. Like the coach as a bus. The coach gives you guidance but you have to put the effort in to get there. The “coach route” is set out for you, with you coming up with your own idea on how to move from A to B. It empowers you, motivates you and gives you self-esteem and self-confidence.
A teacher just seems to tell you what is right or wrong and you just have to swallow it. If you believe it, if it is on your path and whether you want to go from A to B, that does not matter.
Have a safe journey.
I promised you more about organisational behaviour. It has been quiet this week as I took a few days off. I relaxed a lot and made new plans on how to make myself even happier and more satisfied in life. So I set up my own coaching practise in my head that I need to follow. With enough willpower I will succeed to reach my aims.
Also, I discovered a new coach who has a fantastic newsletter. I am sure she does not mind me placing a link here: http://www.creatingease.com/ - Her name is Shola Arewa.
Not that I am lazy but I found an essay I wrote on motivation during my MBA. Here is the conclusion from my essay and also my comments after almost 3 years in work:
From the discussion one learned that motivation is dependent on cultural differences, on the one hand geographically, but more importantly, differences within corporate culture and one might say personal culture or values. The personality of the employee and the way s/he is looked at and lead by the management plays a major role as well.
This is surely true. Cultural differences, personality etc. plays a major rule on how to motivate people.
However, in the case of knowledge based organisations it was identified that monetary rewards are not as essential for motivation as in the manufacturing industry simply out of the understanding that payment is comparable high anyway, giving her/him certain security. But also, the employee has to be assured that her/his job is secure as well.
Whilst I think that is true in some ways no one would work without being paid. However, it is not only the value of the money but, and that comes next, the job satisfaction - latter one probably accounts for more than 70%.
From the next level of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs one looks at personal development and self-fulfilment. In order to meet these needs employees have to do a job that meets their own personal interests and goals which might even be self-chosen. They have to have responsibility for their actions and they need to get tasks done that lead to a common goal (for employers and employees). The competent employee needs to see the value s/he creates and, additionally, see the goal s/he is working for. Therefore, some of the motivation is dependent on matching an employee’s personality and values as well as interest in the job with the company’s goals and policies.
I could not put it into better words today. Of course it is common sense to have a job you like and being matched to your values, your knowledge and your skills - but do a lot of employers do so? Who really empowers their employees?
There has to be a value of and in ones life and a chance to express oneself. A good work-life balance and the appreciation of the social needs of an employee are also essential. If the work leads to a stressed and unbalanced life outside work, one will not create any motivation at all.
I also wrote an essay about work-life balance. Many companies forget about it. With me having a blackberry for instance I am available all day and night. However, I chose to switch it off over the weekends unless it is a critical time of my job. Some people cannot do that and feel stressed about it. Being available seems to be stressful for some; I know of someone who went on holidays to an African country purely for the reason that his blackberry would not work there.
As a recommendation one should reassure to pay an employee enough to keep up her/his good work in order to have her/him not worry about “living” in general terms. In order to further create an effective and motivated worker, one should try to match the job according to the person’s goals and values and not the other way around. One has to give the employee the power to design her/his own work place, participate in the goal setting and conditions which leads to a closer match of job/company and personal needs. This results in a happier, more motivated and, therefore, more efficient worker.
One of the main keys seems to be the involvement in goal setting and flexibility to reach that goal, matching personal resources and values with job design.
I leave it with that for today. How many of you have a job in such a perfect condition? Would you be able or willing to create one if you were the employer?
Have a good start into the week.
I had a discussion last night with a friend about organisational behaviour; also it reflects some issues I heard at another place too.
Looking at behaviour at the workplace I went back to my “handbook” - Handbook of HR Management Practice, by Michael Armstrong. I read it with ambiguity during my MBA degree. It highlights a lot of facts of characteristics of people.
Probably I could write an essay about it, possibly using my own work as an example. This I try truly to avoid. In a nut shell the chapter talks about
- individual differences - here it highlights values, expectations, self belief and goes into detail of ability, intelligence, personality, background and culture, gender and race.
- attitudes
- influences on behaviour
- attribution theory
- orientation
- roles
Lets summarize some bits we were discussing last night. If the expectations in a team differ and the personalities are really different, then how can a team work? What about building relationships at work if you are from diverse backgrounds. What about team coaching? ,-)
Also, focusing on influences on behaviour. Armstrong points out the role characteristics, job characteristics such as autonomy and challenge. The leader behaviours which have an influence on the group and their group characteristics. Ever noticed that if the boss is doing something everyone else thinks it is OK too? I will highlight the situation in regards to owner managers at some point as this is something of particular interest to me.
Roles: the part to be played by individuals in fulfilling their job requirements - is that a comprehensive summary? I am not sure to be honest. My role might be to sell but just by selling I do not fulfill my job requirements, do I? Then I would not be satisfied and happy, ergo would not fulfil my role? I might fulfil my job but not my role - is a role not self-defined as well?
Armstrong even suggests to differentiate job description and role definition. What about the psychological contract - if a team of people have different psychological contracts with their employer - how does that effect the team work, team performance? All of that comes back to performance, role modelling and expectation handling - leading to personal development, training and career management.
As you can say an almost endless topic. Highly interesting. Will surely come back to some more HR topics later on.
Hello All,
Not many people read this blog at the moment. Think I need to write more about myself. If I moved this blog to Facebook probably the whole nation is interested….
Back to the main purpose of this blog: it is purely to cover some ground on NLP topics, coaching and philosophical ideas. Things we can change and how we can change it.
What - What is it you want to change?
How - How is it really affecting you?
Why - Why do you really want to change how it is affecting you?
This goes beyond the usual “textbook” - we look into deeper understanding of the mind.
Often I think that looking beyond certain reasoning and beyond people’s motivation I find a psychological problem. Or are all those problems just human and not problems at all. Meeting so many different people lately being away in Germany it seems as if a whole nation has inherited behaviour. Is that possible? If so - will it ever change?
Without wanting to sound prejudice but obvioulsy the older generation in Germany grew up with the stigma them being evil and having to apologies for the 2nd world war. The younger generation partly inherited that thought but some did not. The world-cup last year seems to give Germany some identity and people forgot about their history “giving it a new go“. Ergo, the economy grows, self-confidence grows, spending power grows. All very positive effects.
Can someone imitate or model that behaviour? What if we could model it and implement it in the UK before the 2012 games - would we be able to achieve double the effect? Will China after the 2008 games grow even more massively and liberate itself from communism completely?
I do not want to start a political or historical debate but a purely behavioural debate. Can you train your children to be more successful after they won a soccer-cup? I think you can. Anything can boost your self-confidence, you just have to realize it.
Have a great weekend. Summer is supposed to come back.
I almost forgot. My friend Mitch from the US sent me a couple of links I am sure he does not mind me publishing them here. They are all about motivation.
http://www.ttmitchellconsulting.com/Mitchblog/2007/04/01/some-positive-motivational-video-links/
I have not watched the Secret one but wait for the DVD to arrived. This one is a favourite of mine:
Find out more about Mitch on his homepage and blog!
http://www.ttmitchellconsulting.com
http://www.ttmitchellconsulting.com/Mitchblog
NLP and DBM are closely connected. NLP is like the tool, e.g. a hammer. With a hammer you can smash glass or a brick. But if you like to master the hammer in order to use it in a useful manner, one needs the technique, goal and direction to put a nail in the wall. DBM goes beyond the tool and provides you with the techniques on how to use it.
Applications of NLP/DBM are universal. In coaching, careers advice, personal development, change management, motivation, sustainable change. Some services of CB Consulting are based on those techniques and tools to achieve sustainable change.
O’Connor and Seymour in their book “Introducing NLP” nicely describe “the map is not the territory”.
An artist, a lumberjack and a botanist taking a stroll through a wood will have a very different experiences and notice very different things. If you go through the world looking for excellence, you will find excellence. If you go through the world looking for problems, you will find problems.
Perception and beliefs are basic understandings of how we see the world.
I just finished reading a book called “Die vergessene Generation (the forgotten generation)” by Sabine Bode - it gives an insight about people who were born during WW2, e.g. their traumas and experience and how those influenced their lifes. Not many people paid attention to this generation that was born during bomb attacks. This generation suffered but tried to ignore their traumas to “move on” and “make things happen”. “Others were worth off” and “you do not speak or talk about your problems, you just get on with it”. This behaviour was passed on to their children and children’s children generation. The attitude of Germans working hard surely might come from that generation which after the war build up a destroyed country. A friend just mentioned recently that women in Berlin (Trümmerfrauen) over-achieved their target per day of cleaning bricks on a regular base. Because their motivation was so high. Maybe their fear of the war coming back was so high? Whatever the motivation was it made them highly successful.
Can our generation, lucky as we do not have any wars in our own countries, learn from their experience on how to motivate ourselves? I believe we can.
ballueder
sitting upright
August 20, 2008 in cb consulting, health, motivation, personal | Tags: alexander technique, back pain, comment on back pain, how do you solve your back problems | | No comments
Anyone ever heard of the Alexander technique for back pain?
Have a look and let me know what you think!